Page 43 - Tallinn University

HARIDUSTEADUSED Tallinna Ülikooli üliõpilaste 2015/2016. õppeaasta PARIMAD TEADUSTÖÖD / Artiklite kogumik
“i am chineSe and i am nOt chineSe.”
Yet again, Cheng Liguang’s statement keeps ashing back to me even when I returned from the el- dwork. Now, relating this statement of identity to my personal lived experience, I nd it tting to describe my life narrative as well. Neither extensively illustrative nor overly focused on the hybridity of my identity construct but more on the improvisation and the co-existence of it: both Cheng Liguang and I would prefer to reiterate and elaborate on “who we are” per scenario. I started to wonder whether the “in- betweenness” of immigrants does indeed correlate with their living situation of navigating in- between two cultures, or two nation-states. e in-betweenness I experience when I am physically in my homeland is dramatically di erent from the one that I experienced elsewhere — it ows through time and space. Alternatively, my “in-between- ness” strikes me as comforting, uid and essentially strange. Akin to what Augé (1995) refers to as the “non-space”, I feel caught up in the velocity of swi movement between countries and continents. I sometimes nd myself standing in the middle of an airport, wondering where exactly I am. Can I remember exactly what the homeland is supposed to smell and feel like, when there is an abundance of duplicates around the globe? I, in the middle of the “abundance of events”, am gradually becoming a stranger to myself.
Here I would like to wrap up this un nished story by stating: I may not remember home, but I remem- ber Mr. Cheng Liguang, his family, and the time we spent together.
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