Triin Lauri: Many of my dreams came true faster than I could have expected

Triin Lauri, Doctor of Government and Administration, Lecturer of Public Policy, Tallinn University School of Governance, Law and Society

I was brought back to university for PhD studies by a combination of burnout and pregnancy 15 years ago. It was 2009, and it was tough to get by due to the financial crisis. I was working at a software company but I felt like it did not highlight my best qualities, so I decided to make a career change. This was right before learning that I was pregnant with my third child.

I was 37 years old and pregnant with my third child but also burnt out and unsure of what I wanted to do with my life. Parental benefits allowed me to make a radical change, so I decided to enter doctoral studies. I was motivated by having finished my Master’s degree a few years prior with little difficulty. I liked research work, so I sat at the library, researched and analysed.

I attended the admissions interview while nine months pregnant. In some ways, the interview felt like a comedy. On several occasions, the committee members looked at me as if wanting to ask whether I knew what I was applying for.

I received my acceptance letter soon after I had delivered my third child. I knew I had one and a half years while my parental benefit lasted. I spent the time being a mother and doing my PhD studies, researching education policy with my supervisor Anu Toots. She had personal experience with researching while caring for small children, so she empathised with me well.

Some who knew me personally warned me that the university would not fit me, as my nature, background and personal profile would not mesh with its slow pace. I decided to spend five years there to see whether I would enjoy it and be able to keep myself financially afloat. After my self-imposed trial period was over, I decided that I was happy with the university.

I was lucky to be starting my PhD studies at a time when the European Union was supporting doctoral students in attending conferences to creating research networks. As a mother of three children, using this opportunity was difficult for me, but it paid out in the end. Thanks to my international connections, I started to receive publication and project offers, which I got to utilise from my first years of study. Every success gave me courage, and research work filled me with motivation. To the surprise of everybody, especially myself, I finished my PhD within nominal time.

Many of my dreams came true faster than I could have expected, including my post-doctoral studies and the opportunity to spend a year as a lecturer at Oxford.

My story might make it sound like I’ve always been gliding on successes. I also had my failures, but after each one, I had an accomplishment or acknowledgement that made me more confident in my career path.

My poor planning skills probably made it easier to make the radical change. I always act first and then see what happens. My choices were also always backed by support from family and friends. Several social risks I would face were minimised thanks to them.

Working in science is intense but fascinating. My only regret is that my journey to become a scientist was marked by so many changes. Before first stepping into the hallways of Tallinn University with my PhD thesis draft and admission application in hand, I had worked on the job market for 20 years. After investing so much time in their career, most people start seeing returns from their efforts by this point. I, on the other hand, chose to start from scratch. However, building yourself up as a scientist takes time. I regret still being a relatively amateur scientist as, being 51 years old, I inevitably have less time to accomplish my goals than I would like.

My late admission into science has objective reasoning behind it. I finished secondary school in 1991. The times were turbulent, and I did not get the opportunity to enter university. Additionally, life had some unexpected twists and turns in store for me. I worked as a teacher for one year, by invitation from my former homeroom teacher, as Hiiu County did not have a single English teacher. In 1992, I witnessed the grand MS Estonia cruise ship enter into service, and I was invited to work there. I missed the catastrophe by complete chance, as it was not my shift. During my experience on the ship, I learned Swedish, and for six years after the disaster, I worked on other Swedish vessels. After this, I secured a job at a support unit for EBS, where I also entered my Bachelor’s studies. On a positive note, my longtime experience in the job market has given me life experience that I would not have had if I entered academics straight away.

I now know that university work is not as slow as I was told. Many things start from the scientist’s initiative. If you are curious, ambitious and hard-working, your academic life can be extremely fast-paced, as you need to focus on your studies and both present and future projects. There is always something going on at university.

The joys of being a scientist:

• My value as a scientist grows over time. The older I get, the more efficient I am in my work. You cannot simply take it easy and wait for a pension at the university.
• The most important thing in my work is to attain knowledge in my field and transfer it to others.
• When applying for projects, scientists receive a lot of negative feedback. However, when I eventually see a positive decision, I am filled with motivation.
• I feel fulfilment in my work when I can improve the awareness of decision-makers by demonstrating how some seemingly hidden aspects of our lives can leave a serious impact.
• Science allows you to both quietly focus on your own and also to be openly acknowledged by others.

Career:

• English teacher – 1 year
• Sailor – 6 years
• Study advisor – 3 years
• Academic department head – 6 years (including parental leave)
• Member of the management board at a software company – 2 years
• Scientist – 15 years

Education:
2015 Tallinn University, Doctorate of Government and Administration
2008 Tallinn University, Master’s in Political Science
2001 Estonian Business School, Bachelor’s in International Business Administration